What Can't Be Spoken
by Luh13
Summary: The Doctor and Martha travel to the kingdom of Ellésmera, where the queen is a friend of the Doctor. And during their stay there, he discovers that what was lost, can be found. Doctor/Rose
1. Chapter 1

******Warning: **They think someone was raped, but no one was nor will be. Nothing explicit. (actually is very implied… the word rape is not even mentioned).

**I hope you guys like it! Sorry for any mistake.**

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After the whole issue with the Family, the Doctor thought that they could use a break. Well… Especially Martha, who had to be a maid for three long months. He was actually craving for adventure and universe-saving. But he reckoned Martha needed some danger-free time, so he took them to Ellésmera, a kingdom in the planet Strawgoh, whose queen he was friend with.

Queen Layla was a beautiful, intelligent and compassionate woman who had befriended the Doctor whilst he was on his 4th body. It had been quite an adventure involving a very large pig and a giant pencil… It was a very long story.

She met other bodies of him as well, the last one she saw was his 8th one.

It was a good plan, visit Layla, give Martha some rest… Everything was going to be fine.

He landed them, accidentally, in the middle of the Dark Forest.

It was a strange place. The threes were huge, but they didn't cover the sun – actually, the star that gave light to that planet was called Aster – as so many thought. The Dark Forest had that name because everything that lived there was, well… Black.

Black threes, black plants, black animals… A few outlaws lived there as well, they were, almost all of them, extremely white, but used dark cloaks to hide.

Thankfully, the Doctor and Martha managed to get to Ellésmera without any accidents and before night fell.

Martha was enchanted with the city. It was so colorful and it looked like it came from a fairytale. People seemed so happy, dancing and singing in the streets, that she asked the Doctor if there was some kind of festival happening there. He just laughed and shook his head, saying that the people from that kingdom were always extremely happy.

She wondered how could they not be. Everything seemed perfect.

The sun was setting on the horizon when they arrived to the gates of the castle; the sky was turning purple, with some pink stripes near the sun.

Everything looked so beautiful! The walls of the castle were white, but there were many details in golden.

There were two guards near the gates.

"Hello!" the Doctor said cheerfully, "I'd like to speak with queen Layla."

"The queen attends her people everyday from 10am to 1pm, please, come back tomorrow." One of the guards said with a gentle voice.

"Oh, but tell her an old friend came to visit her! I'm the Doctor, she surely knows who I am."

The guards' eyes went wild and they looked at each other.

"I'm sorry, sir. Please come in, the queen says you are always welcome here. Enjoy your stay!" the guard said, opening the gates so they could get in.

"Thank you!" the Doctor said

He and Martha walked towards the palace, going up an enormous staircase.

"This is a beautiful place, Doctor. Thank you for bringing me here." Martha said smiling at him.

"You deserved a break."

"Yeah, I did." she agreed and they fell silent.

"Oh, Martha. Remember, they really hate lies, so don't try to do so, yeah?" he said before they reached the doors and she nodded.

They walked through the open doors, entering the throne room.

There they saw a dark skinned woman, neither short, nor tall, using the most beautiful golden dress that suited her perfectly. Her hair was loose, falling in waves down her shoulders, a golden crown decorated her head.

Layla.

She was talking to one of her advisers when she saw them coming in.

"I'm sorry, but I-" the queen started saying.

"Don't you recognize an old friend?" the Doctor joked, interrupting her rudely.

Layla's face lit up and she smiled, shaking her head disapprovingly.

"Don't you know that it is wrong to interrupt a queen while she's talking, Doctor?"

He laughed and hugged her.

"Good to see you, Layla! How've you been?"

"I'm fine! And you? Where did your trips take you this time?"

"Oh! Many, many places! It's been a while since the last time I visited you." He admitted.

"At least one regeneration." She said eyeing him.

"Well… Two, sorry. This is my friend, Martha, by the way. She's travelling with me."

"Hello, Martha! Having to put up with this daft alien?"

Martha laughed; after all… Layla was an alien as well. At least to her.

"Yeah… He's difficult. Sometimes."

"I know! I traveled with him for some time, you know? I don't know how Romana put up with you for so long! I would've died."

The Doctor smiled weakly. He tried not to think much about Romana, especially after what he did.

"Who is Romana?" Martha asked, curiously.

"She used to travel with him a long time ago. She was a Time Lady… An amazing woman, truly." Layla said.

"When was the last time you saw her?" the Doctor asked.

"Oh… I met her and you… The 4th you, by the way, last month."

"Yeah? What were we doing?"

"Just hanging out, no trouble this time."

"The time we met those strawberries?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes! Exactly!"

"Then there's a lot of trouble. They tasted very nice but were a bit… Bad for Time Lords." He laughed remembering him and Romana sick in the TARDIS for a week.

"And you? What was the last time you saw her?"Layla asked hesitantly.

His face closed instantly.

"I… Well… We… Oh, we keep talking about things from the past and we keep excluding Martha!" he said looking for a way out.

Layla rolled her eyes, but agreed smiling at Martha. "Sorry."

"No, problem. It's nice to hear him talking about someone who isn't his precious _Rose_." Martha dropped the name, expecting some reaction and some story telling about Rose.

She just wanted to understand what made that girl so special. And maybe Layla could tell her… Except, the queen of Ellésmera, made a surprise face and looked at the Doctor with eyebrows raised.

"Who is Rose, uh Doctor?" she said smiling.

If it was possible, his face was even more guarded.

"She…" he didn't know how to complete this sentence, he just started into nothing for a few moments, but none of the women tried to change the subject. "She is gone." He completed sighing.

Layla put one hand on his arm. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah…" he said trying to remember how to breathe. "Anyway, I came here because… Martha needed to rest and I haven't visited you in so long, so… I thought we could spend a few days here. If you don't mind, obviously."

"No, of course I don't." the queen said smiling and took her hand off his arm. "I'll show you your rooms, yeah?"

She lead them out the throne's room and they found themselves in a circular room. The wall were full of beautiful paintings. There were three closed doors. Layla ignored those and went to the stairs in the center of the room. They were a spiral of white marble with golden handrail. They went upstairs and ended up in a corridor full of rooms.

Layla turned to to the right, leading them through other stairs. They found themselves in another corridor and the queen opened one of the doors.

"Martha, this is your room, if you like it, of course. We can find another one for you if you prefer."

The human entered the room. It was perfect. A giant bed, beautiful curtains that were closed, a carpet floor, a lovely decoration… Everything looked incredible.

"Oh, it's perfect. Thank you!" Martha said smiling.

"I'm glad you like it. We're going to let you rest. There are clothes in the wardrobe, if you wish to change. And you have your own bathroom behind that door."

"Thank you." Martha said again.

"Good night, Martha." Layla said.

"Good night." The Doctor added.

"Night." She said before Layla closed the door.

The queen pointed her finger to the end of the corridor and they walked 'til there.

"My old room, then?" He said as he opened the door.

"Yeah, it's yours." She entered the room with him.

The walls were painted blue, nearly the same shade as the TARDIS blue. The ceiling had stars drawn in gold and silver. The bed was quite big and the pillows were black, such as the duvet. The floor was white and there was a wooden desk with a few books in the corner.

"Just as I remember it, thank you." He said sitting on the bed.

"That girl... Who Martha was talking about, Rose… Who was she?" Layla asked sitting beside him.

"She was… My friend."

"Friend?" she asked raising her eyebrows.

"Well… Yeah, a bit more than that." He chuckled. "We never really found a word to describe our relationship. She…"

"Was yours and you were hers?" Layla completed smirking.

He laughed. "Yeah, something like that, I suppose."

"What happened?"

He looked to the ground. "She… She was saving the universe. Got trapped in a parallel universe. And I can't never see her again."

"I'm really sorry, Doctor."

"She was special… She helped me so much after… Oh, Layla, we have so much to talk about."

Layla nodded.

"We will, my friend. But it will have to wait until tomorrow. I'm knackered." She said getting up and heading to the door. "Good night, Doctor. Feel free to wander the castle if you don't want to sleep. The library is in the same place."

"Thank you. Good night."

"Oh, and, Doctor." She said before closing the door. "I'm glad you are here."

He smiled at her and she was gone.

He lay down on the bed, sighing, thinking about a pink and yellow human he would never see again and about an orange planet that he had destroyed.

When Layla reached the doors to her room, one of the guards came to talk to her.

"Your majesty. We found a woman in the chambers of Mister Carter. He… He was planning to hurt her, your majesty. I don't think she's from here. And I don't know what he may have already done to her. We arrested him."

"He… What?! Is she ok? Take me to her!"

The queen immediately went to see this girl.

They had taken her to one of the rooms and she was there, a blonde woman wearing pants and with a ripped t-shirt that she tried to hide holding the cloak they had put around her, sitting on a couch and looking into nothing.

"Hello." Layla said sitting by her side. "My name is Layla, what's yours?"

"Hannah." She said sounding nearly bored; as if that was an answer she was tired of giving. Layla thought she was lying. Though why someone would fake their own name she didn't know. But, as a part of her duty as a queen, she was supposed to know when someone was lying.

"Are you sure about that?" she asked smiling gently.

"Yeah." The blonde woman said firmly.

"Alright, then, Hannah." She didn't want to pressure the young woman. "And how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. He didn't… Touch me or anything. I do think he would have, though. If your men hadn't stopped him. Thank you." She said looking at the queen.

"I'm glad they were there in time, Hannah. I'm really sorry that happened here. And in my palace… That's inacceptable. You can stay here for as long as you need. But we will have to talk about it, yeah? Tomorrow, you're probably very tired."

The woman nodded. "Yes, thank you, your majesty."

"But… Are you sure you are ok? You look a bit pale. I can call a doctor to come and see you." She suggested.

"No, thank you. You are already doing too much for me. I'll be fine."

"It really won't bother anyone." The queen assured her.

The woman hesitated, but nodded.

"Ok, thank you."

Layla went to talk to one of the guards to call sir Emrys, but was told that he was taking care of his daughter, who was very ill.

"Oh… Alright, then… I guess the Doctor could help her. Tell him I need him here, please."

The guard immediately left to call the man.

Layla went to stay with the blonde girl, saying that someone was coming to take care of her.

A few minutes later, someone knocked on the door. Layla opened and left the room to talk to the Doctor in the corridor.

"She… She looks very pale and weak. She didn't say much and I didn't want to pressure her, but I don't know how long she has been in the hands of that man. Oh… Why did I trust him to stay here in this castle? I should've been more careful… She said he didn't touch her, but I don't know if it's or isn't true. She didn't seem to be lying, but… I don't know. She's… Peculiar. She told me her name is Hannah, but I think she's lying. And-"

"I'll take care of her, Layla. Calm down, it's not your fault. Go and get some rest, yeah? You said you were tired."

"Ok… I will." She said nodding and walked away towards her chambers.

The Doctor opened the door, closing it behind him.

"Hello, I'm the-" he stopped mid sentence, looking at the woman sitting on the couch with a t-shirt ripped apart. "Rose."

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	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: The Doctor sort of implies that Rose might've been raped, but it's not true. No one was, nor will be. He doesn't use this word.**

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The Doctor always thought that if he ever met Rose again for some impossible reason, he'd run to her and kiss her and hug her and tell her exactly how he felt about her.

It's not what he did, though.

When his eyes locked into hers and his brain understood that it was really her… He froze.

He muttered her name, but he couldn't move. His legs didn't respond, nor his arms and he suddenly lost his voice.

He couldn't think. Couldn't understand what was going on. He just stayed there, looking at the woman who meant so much to him.

"I'm here." She assured him. "It's really me. And it's really you, right?" she asked, unsure.

He still couldn't answer. For god's sake, he couldn't even blink.

She seemed to realize that, 'cause she got up and walked towards him.

"Doctor" she said placing her hand on his cheek. He leaned into her touch immediately "Please, tell me that it's really you" she pleaded.

He just hugged her, pressing her as close to his body as he possibly could.

"Rose" he whispered again. "You are really here?"

"Yes" she said laughing, letting a few tears of joy fall from her eyes "I really am. I can't believe I've finally found you."

He pulled away just enough so he could see her face. Her hands were holding his arms. He dried away some of her tears and rested his hand on cheek.

"Thank you for keep looking" he said incapable of containing a smile.

"Well… I just knew that your concept of impossible was wrong, so I though I should at least try" she said smiling as well.

"Rose Tyler, I love when you prove me wrong."

She laughed. He thought he had never heard a more beautiful sound in his whole life. And that meant something.

She was there. She was alive. What else could he ask for?

"I'm delighted with you presence, Rose. But… How? I tried everything I could possibly think of… It just wasn't possible."

"We built a dimension canon."

"We?" he asked arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah, me and my Torchwood team. Well, we built that so… So I could come back." He grinned at her stupidly. "Shut up!" she said smiling. "Anyway, we wouldn't have made it without a some aliens that came to help us. They were… Boitatás. Have you ever heard from them?"

"No…" he said frowning.

"Yeah, well… Maybe they don't exist in this universe. Anyway, they helped us. Provided some technology for us and helped us with some of the equations. It worked out a few weeks ago. I've been jumping through universes trying to find you, the right you. I think I've been to this universe before, but I usually arrive right after you left. This time, I thought that had happened as well, but before I could go back to that universe, that guy… Lord Carter… He found me. Thought I was an alien, which I am. And, well, he didn't like aliens."

The Doctor tensed up. He had forgotten about why he was summed here in the first place.

"How long… How long did you-"

"Stay with him? I came here yesterday. I spent the day looking for you, he found me late at night. Brought me to the castle through a secret tunnel and kept me there… He had to spend the day away so the queen wouldn't suspect anything was wrong, so he didn't have the time to harm me."

"Even last night?" he asked her, not sure if she was telling the truth.

"He didn't hurt me, Doctor. I promise. He said he didn't know what he was going to do with me, so he didn't do anything."

He relaxed a bit.

"Alright. But you still look extremely pale and weak, so sit down. I'll be your doctor."

She laughed, "I thought you already were."

He grinned at her, "And always will be."

Rose did as he said and sat on the couch. He examined her with the sonic, listened to her heart and checked her temperature.

"You're fine. Your body seems like it's going to collapse from exhaustion, but you're going to be fine."

"I will."

He took her hand in his, holding it.

"I missed you. A lot."

"I missed you too."

"Rose… If he had hurt you, would you tell me?"

"Doctor, I already told you, he didn't hurt me. He didn't touch me. Nothing happened, yeah?"

"Your shirt… It's ripped."

She looked down, taking a deep breath. "He tried. Tonight. The guards heard me screaming and came to help me. They brought me to this room and now here we are. That's all. I swear. I would tell you if he had done anything, Doctor."

He relaxed a bit, "I just… I don't want to think about the possibility of him… Putting his hands on you and-" He sighed, "Come on. You need to rest, and the couch isn't the best place, right?"

She nodded as a yawn escaped her lips and she smiled.

He pulled her so she could get up and hand-in-hands they left the room. The guards outside told her they'd lead Rose to some room, but the Doctor said she'd need medical assistance during the night, and it was best that she slept on his bedroom. They bought it, 'cause the queen said they should do what the Time Lord requested.

They arrived on his room a few minutes later and he opened up the door.

"Do you want anything to eat or drink? I can arrange something for you. I mean… I don't think he let you eat anything, did he?"

She shook her head. "Food and water would be great, thanks."

"I'll be back in a moment."

It took more than a moment for him to come back. Rose had explored the room, trying to stay awake, but, by the time that door finally opened up again, Rose was lying on the bed, nearly asleep.

"Rose" the Doctor called, "Come on, don't sleep just yet."

She sat on the bed so she could eat the food he had brought to her. It was some kind of weird alien fruit that tasted really good and some bread. She drank lots of water, but right now, the only thing she wanted to do was to sleep.

Her shirt wasn't covering up much at the moment and she didn't fancy sleeping in her bra.

"Give me your shirt?" she asked him.

He looked confused for a moment, but took it off and gave it to her.

"Thanks" she said before turning around and taking off her own shirt and throwing it on the ground. She unclasped her bra and threw it in the ground as well. She put on his shirts and took of her jeans. "Good night."

Rose lay on the bed and the Doctor did the same after turning off the lights.

He hugged her from behind, kissing her hair. "Good night, Rose."

She prayed that it wasn't all a dream, because she wouldn't survive losing her again.

In his mind, he asked for the same.

When morning came, Rose woke up.

She remembered last night. Remembered him, and how he had been there with her. And she smiled without opening up her eyes. She didn't feel his arms around her anymore.

"Doctor?" she called, eyes still closed. No one replied. Her smile faded.

She extended her arm in the bed, searching for someone. But no one was there.

Rose opened up her eyes, desperate. She let out a breath of relief when realized she was in the same room of last night. Which meant he was here somewhere.

The smile came back to her face immediately when she heard the door opening.

It was him.

When Doctor woke up, Rose was still deep asleep.

He stayed with her in his arms for a while, imprinting on his mind how it was to hold her close again.

Then he thought maybe he could do something nice for her, and he went to prepare breakfast for them.

He met the Layla on his way to the kitchen. He apologized for not wearing a shirt, seeing as it must look weird since he was sleeping in the same room as the woman her guard had saved.

"How's Hannah?"

"Hannah?" he asked confused.

"Yeah… The girl you were supposed to be taking care of."

"Oh, right. Uhm… Hannah is not her-"

"Don't." say Layla and pushed him to one of the rooms, "She lied, didn't she?"

"Yeah. Layla she's-"

"Look, Doctor. I'll make an exception for this girl. She was scared. I get it. But tell her to keep lying. The guards talk. Everyone knows there's a girl called Hannah here. And if they find out she lied… You know the law. No one can lie."

"She really didn't know, Layla. I'm sorry to put you in this position."

"It's alright. It's not your fault."

"Layla… Let me just… She's Rose." He said.

He wasn't sure why telling someone that she was Rose was so satisfying. But it was… He wanted the world to know that he had his pink and yellow human back. And now, no one was going to take her away from him. Never.

Layla's eyes went wild, "What? The Rose? Your Rose?"

"Yes! She's here. She came back… And she's probably going to wake up soon! I need to make her breakfast and… Please, could you find her some clothes?"

"Yes!" Layla said laughing excitedly. "I'll make sure she receives dresses and… I can't wait to meet her, Doctor. If she makes you feel this way."

He just grinned and headed to the kitchen.

With a tray in hand, he hesitated before opening the door from his room in the castle.

When he got in, they'd have a lot to talk about. He'd have a lot to say. Including three insignificant words that were driving him mad.

But them scared him to death.

He took a deep breath before opening the door.

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